Tuesday, 10 January 2012

How to dress for the Zombie Apocalypse.

It's pretty much accepted that, one day, the dead will walk the earth once more, and thus we must all be ready to run the hell away when they do. Here are a few tips of how to be the best dressed when running for your life.

Most of the survivors in Resident Evil: Extinction are perfect examples of how to dress in hotter weather.
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  1. BE PRACTICAL. This means saying goodbye to those pretty hobble skirts and steel-boned corsets, and hello to shorts, joggers, and loose minis. You're going to be moving almost all the time, so be prepared to throw away treasured items in favour of comfortable and easy to move in clothes. I'd say that the grunge crowd are doin' it right. Victorian ladies...not so much.
  2. LAYERS. If you really do insist on wearing that PVC super-mini you just can't leave behind, I suggest you wear lots of pairs of tights with it. The good thing about layers is that you can take them off and still be dressed appropriately for the weather. If the area you're in stops caring about crime when the Apocalypse comes, then go to any shop and take as many random jackets and jumpers as you can. I recommend paying for them if chaos has not yet erupted; the last thing you need is to be locked in a police cell with a dozen zombies trying to force their way in.
  3. DRESS FOR THE WEATHER. If you live in a mild to cold country, opt for lots of thick fabrics, such as wool. If in hot countries, however, thinner layers are a good idea.
  4. YOU DON'T NEED TO LOOK YOUR BEST. This is no action movie. Zombies don't care if you look like a living deity or a random homeless person, so don't bother wearing make-up or dressing in coordinated outfits.
  5. FOOTWEAR IS IMPORTANT. This can be a make or break situation, and you have two options: trainers/sneakers or big-ass boots. The former are good for those running without fighting, the latter for those who prefer to stamp on zombie skulls over legging it. Heels and simple flats are a definite no-go.
  6. ONE OUTFIT IS GOOD ENOUGH. Seriously, you can get some new stuff when you reach a safer place. The layers will come in handy, and you can easily find ways to clean smelly or dirty clothes. Never ever pack a suitcase, as it will just slow you down.
Layering in (fashionable) action.
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