Thursday, 11 July 2013

A Kinderwhore in Heat

If you're from the UK or USA, you'll probably be aware of the insane heat some parts of the countries have been experiencing. Here in northern England, we're not used to anything above 20C, so imagine our pain at the recent 26C temperatures we've been experiencing!

When you combine hot weather and kinderwhore fashion, disaster is possible; to combat this, here's a little guide to coping in the heat whilst still looking very much like a kinderwhore princess!

  • Go sleeveless
This is a simple ides; sleeves, even the cute little cap ones, will cover your armpit, thus increasing how bad you sweat (I think that's the reason, I ain't a scientist!). I would recommend going for the sleeveless peter pan dresses that sometimes become popular in summer, though sun dresses are much better and can be turned into something more grungy! If you cannot afford to buy any sleeveless dresses, channel your inner punk and hack off the sleeves yourself! The result may also look more improvised, making it more true to the kinderwhore aesthetics.

  • Look at the material and shape of the dress
Cotton is the perfect summer material, due to it's thinness.Satin is also good for the weather, though it will stick to you in sweaty areas more than cotton. To find out the material, just check the labels; it should be with the washing instructions.

As for the shape of the dress, go for something that hangs off the body. My summer survival dress is a sack-like dress, though you can go for more babydoll dresses, i.e. tighter at the bust and baggy from the waist down. Length-wise, anything below the knee is not a good idea.
Britney Spears, who was the most unlikely kinderwhore back in the ol' days, shows that bralets and short shorts can look kinderwhore if done right!
  • Colour is key
Blacks and very dark colours, as any goth or emo will tell you, is the worst in summer. This is because black absorbs heat, making you considerably more sweaty. The easy solution is to wear light colours, such as white and pastels; combining this with thin materials and loose dresses could create a dreamy, Virgin Suicides-esque look.


  • Lose the heavy makeup
Thick powder and red lippy is not that good an idea in high temperatures, as it will melt and look worse than you may ever intend to make it look! Instead, opt for glittery lipgloss or heroin chic eyeshadow. Alternatively, go bare-faced; the rest of the outfit can do all the talking.
Ms. Love knows what's up when it's summertime.
  • Put your hair up
Long hair in the heat is not ideal, what with how sweaty your neck will become. Instead, opt for pigtails, ponytails, or plaits. This is a good chance to use your arsenal of childish hair accessories, especially ribbons and bobbles. Speaking of children's accessories...

  • Kid's summer stuff!
Summer is the season in which colourful plastic sunglasses become a common sight in shops, so don't ignore it! Also, take advantage of the summery girl's hair stuff, such as pineapple hair bobbles or sun-shaped hair grips. At the end of the day, ignoring the kinder in kinderwhore will lose you brownie (or should I say grunge?) points.

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